Momma would pick up the violin
When her heart was breaking.
And the strings she would play
Until her fingers,
They were aching.
And her tears
Made the melody
Flow from her soul.
Even though I was young,
I felt it in my blood.
The love and the hate.
The longing and yearning
As it echoed from impossible
Depths.
Each note
Bleeding
Out
From the
Fissures
Of her
Heart.
In the
Desolation of your soul,
Wandering this ghost town
I tried to find you.
I traced the drops of your tears in the
Red,
Dry dirt.
The wind began to blow
And the grit,
It
Began to hurt.
My heart began to race
In anticipation.
I lost sight of your trail
Yet
I kept searching
To no avail.
I was caught up in the blaze
Of the scorching sun.
I knew what had to be done.
On hands and knees
I could no longer see.
I began to crawl and feel my way
Instictively.
I closed my eyes and listened.
I heard your sighs falling
Above the roar of the
Storm.
I wonder if you can hear me
I wonder if you know
You are not alone.
I scribble it all on paper.
Sometimes in such a desperate
Frenzy
I cannot decipher it later.
At stop lights.
In bed.
At the movies in the dark.
A voice memo at the park.
At 3 o’clock in the morning
All these thoughts in my mind
Colliding in time.
Delving into
Emotions I don’t always get.
But I know I’m not the only one
On this planet
With nonstop
Voices in my head.
The few lines I have been brave enough to
Read
Aloud;
I have to stop and catch my breathe
To put life into the words.
The first time I
Hear them spoken
The fractured portions of me,
The passion and the fears
Through life and
Through the years
Stir the tears and they
Begin to flow.
For even I myself do not
Recognize
How deep these feelings
Move without restraint.
And the words uttered
With emotion
Sear the ragged edges
Of my heart.
Remind me how strong I am.
Remind me how far I have come.
Remind me how a warm
Hand might feel in mine.
Remind me that the tears
Will lessen in time.
It might take a while to remind me
How to smile.
Remind me exactly what it is
Your soul finds so
Beautiful in me.
Just take a moment
And
Remind
Me.
Maybe
You did not know.
Or perhaps you
did not listen
To the true depth of sadness
In her voice.
The exaggerated laugh.
Maybe you felt you had said all there was to say.
Maybe you looked away
From the broken heart in her smile
The silent plea
In her tenderness towards others.
The quiet tears
In the reach of
her fingertips.
And now you’re left
Shaking your head
And wondering
Why
Sometimes even
Angels
Cannot save the flesh and bone
Of a soul
Who longs so desperately
To go home.
You lent me the beat of your heart
When I had forgotten how to make
My own.
You lent me your wings and offered strength
Until I could fly
Alone.
You brought light into my shadows
And I learned to love through the night.
You heard the sadness in my tears
And gave me love with all your might.
You played back to me my own melody
I had silenced so long ago.
And showed me where the world was.
I held it in my heart but did not know.
The tears.
I am my own comfort.
There is solace in the silence.
In the dark.
It is there that I lay
The ache bare.
Defenseless.
Solitaire.
My agony.
And when the bottomless torment
(Which has no name)
subsides,
I will wrap it up tight
And tuck it away.
Not to come out again until
It is too heavy and thorny
To carry in the quiet.
Love said so lightly
But falls like stone.
Like I have no choice,
My voice it chokes.
Stuck in my throat.
My tears like ghosts,
Figments of my imagination.
Light like my breath
That no one can see.
They caress only me.
Sweet,
Wild
Love.
I have known you before.
I have seen your face.
I have felt your fear.
I have held your hand.
I have kissed your tears.
Chole Into Diamonds 