We are healing in the sun
From all the things done
To us under cover of
Shadow;
We are the light.
We are healing in the sun
From all the things done
To us under cover of
Shadow;
We are the light.
Oh despair
Why do you visit me?
I know you are coming
Yet
Still unexpected.
I feel your devious intentions,
Creeping in the shadows.
Arriving uninvited to
Spite me.
Mocking laughter in satisfaction,
Scratching at my door
In my finest hour
To
Coat my vision in
Black
And cloud
My path;
Nip at my heels
As i try to evade your touch.
You will dream of me
Until your end.
And then on misty moor;
Through shadows gloom
Will you continue to roam.
Evermore
Forsaking your eternal home.
Your longing unending.
Arms always empty
In your shapeless form.
Not long enough
Did you hold me while your heart
Was still warm.
Choleintodiamonds
Originally posted January 2016
The battle is real
Should i have a glass of wine
Or
Climb in the closet, shut the door and
Sit in the dark?
Teetering on the edge
Of laughter and screams.
Rocking to and fro.
I must remember why i
Am here.
I love so deep
But do not think i am so
Fragile.
My jaw has met fist amongst other things.
Shadows call even though there be
Light
And friendly faces on the street.
Apathy Creeping at my feet.
Once again I retreat from
The invisible forces.
Battling
Battling
With those formless thought shifters.
“Go away!” I say as my worth is not in
Their ungrateful hands.
I write truth on the wall.
I must remember why i am here.
I close my eyes once more and am
Taken to the red dirt
Where I kneel.
Home feels so far but there
It is in my heart. My heart.
How could I forget. Wallowing
In my fears.
I know why i am here.
I let them
Get in my head. I let them twist my mind.
Deplorable thoughts have no control.
Thoughts cannot condemn my soul.
I know why i am here.
Do i?
He (she too) knows he is called strange
And beautiful in the same breath.
His (her) delight in life contagious
But then
Given time
And the right mix of elements
He (she does) crashes
And no words nor touch
Can reach him.
Blinded and numb.
He regresses.
He recoils.
(She turns within)
For no one can save him and he knows this.
They do not fathom the depths
Of despair.
(She knows)
He can hold his breath longer
For he knows at the surface
The darkness waits unbidden.
It always waits
Unbidden and unseen by others.
(They do not see it
They do not feel it)
And they lose patience
Going on their way
To fill their own void for they cannot hold their
breath any longer.
(She is still there)
And he resurfaces.
Returns from the untime
To be aware.
Skin tender, jaw tight
Legs jelly
And goes on.
Invites others from empty tables to join him.
Holds others when their arms are too full
And smiles
Because he is thankful they have not swam so
deep into the darkness as he.
(He sees remnants of shadows on her eyes)
I do believe
Even the shadows
Flowers cast
To be beautiful.
Momma said she quit
And a thousand times
I smelled it sleeping on her breath.
Lies. Secrets. Whispers.
Deals in the shadows.
Cop cars and knives.
Mixed in the coke can,
I’d take a sip and choke.
Swallowed with pills.
Bottles
Almost empty.
Tucked behind the bed.
Hidden in drawers and shelves.
She thought she had me fooled
But then she’d forget.
I knew him then.
The boy.
The child.
I knew him when the sun played on his shoulders.
When a glance at the clouds above would set him free.
When nothing could stop him from
Dancing
Or
Smiling.
It is as if another lifetime now.
I do not know what happened out there in the world.
I do not know who stole
Delight from his veins.
But I do know
Whoever
Stole it,
They did not take it all.
For
I see it in his shadow.
Standing in the house.
Trying to hold the walls up while the shadows die.
Windows cracking,
Shattering to pieces
As the
Elephant
Is let loose
Wrecking havoc.
Some are still sleeping,
Or pretending too
In scattered spaces.
They sleep half awake
Hoping and praying that in the morning
The sun will be showing
And all will be put back in its place.
Instead they will find a
Big gaping hole filled with
Broken memories and tear stained letters,
Fragments of half truths
And lies.
Just another
Elephant in
Disguise.
You broke the door off the hinges
In your rage.
You shredded the letters that I wrote
And in the process
Spilled my blood upon the pages.
You forgot.
You forgot
That I was waiting
In your shadow.