These are the
Forests i know.
And the devils club,
The fallen trees
They remind me to breathe;
Raindrops on the forget me not.
The song of the wind,
Lichen at me feet.
Mountain tops high. I am cradled safe
In the sloping valley.
Running river wild playing its melody free
As I welcome stillness.
Here I meet myself.
I did linger in the mire of
Self defeating thoughts for
Most of my life,
I am learning to stand up for myself
To myself.
I brought a missing bit of
My heart back to me today.
I went back and found it
Where i had
Left it full of sorrow
And i held it.
I let myself love this bit
And validate the fact that it
Truly loved me.
My heart missed itself.
For so many years I hid bits of myself.
I tucked
My favorite Legos in the floorboards,
In the house where the gun went off.
Hoping someday someone would find them and
Create something admirable.
I wrote my name in nooks
And secret places hoping someday
Someone would read me;
My book.
I placed my voice in a jar
And put it in a corner
Hoping someday
Someone would find it,
Open
It and hear me;
My song.
I am going back and collecting these bits of me
Myself.
For I know my worth now
And those bits are too lovely to keep hidden
In dark places;
Too lonely to wait any longer
Simply wishing to be found by another.
All of me for me.
Yes I have an affinity
For
Rainbows
And
Getting lost.
Kind words and lip gloss.
Singing in the rain
And record players.
Wind in my hair
And
Silence.
Dancing by myself and stranger’s grins.
Sand in my toes
And the smell of mountain air
On my skin.
So many little things that go so far.
Yes they make me smile.
You see
These little things save me
From myself.
The unmaking of me.
I am caught
In between being
Too much
And
Not enough
Of myself.
Learning.
Bending
But never breaking.
I ran out the door.
I ran hard and I ran fast
Until
At last,
I crashed into myself.
There I lay in the stillness
And I poured out all
The hurt,
The sadness,
The disappointment
Of a lifetime.
There I was empty
Yet
Full.
Ready to rise and begin again.
Ready to
Be
Me
Myself
And
I.
I awoke with a loneliness in my gut.
My face
Damp with tears I must have cried
In a nightmare.
I turned to my side
And
Set my sight
On the light
Fighting to filter through those
Dusty,
Lifeless
Curtains covering my window.
And I knew
Come what may,
The only way
That soul healing light was ever going
To shine on me
Was if I got up and opened those
Curtains
Myself.
Chole Into Diamonds 