They,
The lotus blooming in the muddy water,
Remain in stillness,a shimmer.
And plastic shells gaze at the beauty of themselves
In the mirror,
Admiring the wall of the veil;
As their ears fall deaf submerged in
Over stimulation,
The sound which
Echoes grinding gears of machines,
And hold tight the chains linked to
promises lined
In coin;
fools gold.
False Gods.
Distraction in anything to avoid fear of self.
Love is always there even if ignored.
I struggle to steady my mind
And I cannot find the breath to
Say i am tired,
And I cannot find the strength to
Reach for you.
My walls so high and mighty.
My fear steals my bones.
I’ve heard them whisper about me
Then turn and
Smile at me in the reflection in the mirror.
I’ve seen them steal away and swallow
Anything they can put their fingers on.
Eat. Sleep.
Dream.
And her mind,
It goes blank
Before you can blink.
She is smiling
All the while hating herself.
And they keep talking
And talking
And she keeps laughing.
And she excuses herself to the bathroom
Where
She stares in the mirror
Wondering if she is really here.
Why all this noise?
Just noise
Coming from mouths who don’t care
What a heart beat is.
This air;
The air that leaves her lungs
As she whispers your name,
As you press against her
And hold her steady.
As you take her where she needs to go
Without hesitation.
We sit in the quiet and
Hear the stars resonate
In our very bones.
It’s all ok.
Breathe in unison.
You don’t even need to say
It is all okay.
Call me a silly girl
If you will
I just don’t care anymore.
And i was tied to the riddles of your mind too long
Crawling along on my hands and knees
Finding scraps and pieces;debris.
Forgetting who I am,
My heartbeat ceased.
Now i am rolling the dice,
Look and tell me what you see.
You won’t even look at me.
I am tired of lie after lie.
Call me a slow girl
If you will,
I just don’t care anymore.
Left or right
It don’t make no difference.
I was a fool in the beginning
I ain’t
A fool no more.
Blink and
I disappear.
And all i see is dust in my
Rear view mirror.
The wreckage of me reassembling.
I step through the
Threshold
And feel the ghosts.
They want to crawl under my skin
To make a home in my veins.
They want to cling to the walls of my heart,
Stop me in my tracks.
Screaming,
“Look back!
Look back girl!”
I do not know how to stifle
Them.
I turn round
Struggling to face myself in the mirror,
Expecting to see my child self.
I look up to see Mamas eyes
Instead of me.
And her voice in my mind over and over,
“I love you, but I do not like you.”
i would like to ask her what she truly meant
But she is dead and gone.
I cannot help but wonder if she would still feel the same today.
I leave the house in a hurry
And forget to glance in the mirror.
I return home late afternoon.
When I finally set eyes upon my own reflection,
I smile as
I see not much has changed since yesterday.
Hypocrisy
Does not recognize itself
Even when gazing upon its own reflection in the mirror,
Until willingly,
It removes the mask.
Chole Into Diamonds 