There are lists people make,
All of these qualities and qualifications
That define
What makes a “strong” person.
I laugh at those words,
If you wake every morning and live
And that is all you feel you have the strength to do,
You are strong.
Period.
We are each strong in our big, beautiful,
Human way.
And her mind,
It goes blank
Before you can blink.
She is smiling
All the while hating herself.
And they keep talking
And talking
And she keeps laughing.
And she excuses herself to the bathroom
Where
She stares in the mirror
Wondering if she is really here.
Why all this noise?
Just noise
Coming from mouths who don’t care
What a heart beat is.
This air;
The air that leaves her lungs
As she whispers your name,
As you press against her
And hold her steady.
As you take her where she needs to go
Without hesitation.
We sit in the quiet and
Hear the stars resonate
In our very bones.
It’s all ok.
Breathe in unison.
You don’t even need to say
It is all okay.
Mountain summer night.
Watching the stars wink in and out of sight.
The breeze
Brushes a wisp
Of my hair into my mouth
And I throw my head back
Laughing aloud
At the illusions.
I learned a long time ago I am my own validation.
Only I know what is happening to me
And only I know
How I feel,
That this is my reality.
The rest is just words
And I am choosing to save my breath for
Breathing and laughing rather than explaining.
Share your song love
Whether sad or
Happy;
Anything in between.
Sing, dance and see.
Break hearts and minds open as only you can
With your gifts.
Your
Tones,
Your beat
Reverberate.
Move your feet.
Laugh out loud.
Observe.
Let the tears flow,
Let your body go, move to your rhythm.
Your vibration,
Let it travel;
Let it flow,
Let it go.
The love you share heals.
You are the gift itself.
We are gifts.
Black off the shoulder dress,
Patterned with little pink flowers.
My skin
Tan and sand brushed.
Last time I wore it was in Egypt.
A beautiful night, it was.
Clear and star filled.
I feel everything all at once when I look at.
Barefeet continued
Dancing long after they hurt.
Laughed and smiled so much;
People thought I was drunk.
It has a hole in it I never fixed,
I kept it anyway.
So there it hangs with a variety of other
Colorful memories.
Time to sew it up or let it go.
Let’s sneak out after midnight.
Meet me down the road.
We’ll go running through the field.
Nobody will know.
Bring your father’s bourbon
And a radio too.
We’ll listen to some music,
Maybe dance a song or two.
I’ll bring us a blanket
And wear my yellow dress.
The one I wore last summer,
The one you like best.
We’ll lay down with each other,
Not breathe a single word.
Because we know what our hearts are saying,
Nothing that can be heard.
We’ll count the stars to a million.
We’ll laugh until we cry.
We’ll hold each others hands,
Watch the lightening bugs make fire in the
Sky.
And I can’t wait to see you.
Can’t wait to breathe you in.
Can’t wait to see your laughing eyes
And do it all again.
*originally published November 2015 @choleintodiamonds*
Sometimes
I believe i am well
Then i get this twisted gut
And this crooked eye
And they both dig into me deep
Dredging and pulling
Till they find something to ridicule
Laughing
And pointing
Mocking
And they dance with joy
As i swing and miss
Then retreat
Down
Down
Under reality
Into the depths of my mind
Where there is shelter
And silence
But
Not oxygen.
Perpetual space.
I never know what to say.
I do not know what to say.
So I write
To
The pages beneath my fingertips
For they hold my heart
In confidence.
Here,
On paper,
I may laugh or cry without saying a word.
She asks how you are doing.
You have a short
Conversation,
The whole time
Her heart screaming inside her
Chest,
“I am so lonely.
So goddamn lonely.”
Her brain holding the dam straight and strong against
The welling of tears.
And she laughs.
She hugs you
A little longer than you feel comfortable so
You let go
And
“Let’s catch up soon”
And she glances to the ocean.
The ocean who is always calling.
And she thinks how much she longs to go to her.
“The ocean will hold me as long as I need
And stroke my tangled hair.”
She asks for nothing
In return.
“And i do not need to speak.
I walk on to where i need to go
Leaving the ocean for
Now.
She waits for my return.”
Her heart beating morse code,
Begging,
Wait for me. Wait for me.
Chole Into Diamonds 