I was taught to
Swallow my tears.
Keep them within,
Becoming bloated with grief.
My blood saturated with salt
Until
Solidified
Heart so heavy
And lungs drowned with self inflicted water,
I could no longer stand.
I could not absorb oxygen needed to keep warm nor fully breathe,
Could not pump blood through my own veins to live.
Not knowing that to cry was such strength
For those surrounding me
Saw it,
Claimed it as
Victory;
A winning of some kind to break another more than yourself.
I still cry in the dark.
I never said I was perfect.