Be mindful
Those generational ghosts you bring forward;
Those in your own heart and mind which no Longer
Exist.
We are teaching children to fear them.
We are born fearless.
We are born fresh and
We are born free of past regrets.
Do not dump your unhealed bits on them, the Children.
Lessons abound from the past. Still, let us refrain from planting our pain in the child’s heart.
I step through the
Threshold
And feel the ghosts.
They want to crawl under my skin
To make a home in my veins.
They want to cling to the walls of my heart,
Stop me in my tracks.
Screaming,
“Look back!
Look back girl!”
I do not know how to stifle
Them.
I turn round
Struggling to face myself in the mirror,
Expecting to see my child self.
I look up to see Mamas eyes
Instead of me.
And her voice in my mind over and over,
“I love you, but I do not like you.”
i would like to ask her what she truly meant
But she is dead and gone.
I cannot help but wonder if she would still feel the same today.
You will dream of me
Until your end.
And then on misty moor;
Through shadows gloom
Will you continue to roam.
Evermore
Forsaking your eternal home.
Your longing unending.
Arms always empty
In your shapeless form.
Not long enough
Did you hold me while your heart
Was still warm.
Choleintodiamonds
Originally posted January 2016
Perpetually learning
To unlearn.
And this is life.
A heart that sees and eyes that blink.
An ever steady soul flowing.
Evolve.
Expand beyond thoughts,
Beyond this word called sanity;
Creating worlds without boundaries.
Reaching. Pushing. Pulling.
Exponentially exploding.
Becoming only to undo
And
Remake
Evermore.
His glow in the dark heart.
That is how I find him
Lifetime to lifetime.
Drawn to his heat signature with sensors
Internal.
Pulsating senses;
A beat unique
Underneath it all.
A calling signaling our unspoken names.
Unite.
Untie each others minds from tethers and chains;
Worldly restraints.
Stop.
Here in the vibration of stillness
Is the cure.
Pine needles
Falling to the floor.
The tree quit taking water,
No longer thirsty.
The New Year is calling;
The clock strikes 12.
Auld Lange Syne
As I wipe tears from my
Eyes
For the loves lost.
(Thump goes my heart)
Grateful for every breath.
This year went by
Like all those past
And the quicker they go
The older I get.
I used to run and hide when people hurt me.
I gave away my power without a second thought.
I used to give them my tears and time.
I am learning to turn around
Gently.
To forgive and honor the soul of each heart and mind.
To give more tears and time
To joy.
To see beauty in both dreams and reality.
I am learning they too are afraid,
They just show it in a different way.
Read a poem.
Read it again
And again.
Leave it be
And return.
Keep reading,
Immersing yourself in each verse.
Pondering.
A sequence of thoughts pulling
You into
A
Myriad of emotions.
Seeing something more.
Feeling something more.
Every time you come back to the words
They seem to have grown
In depth and width.
Unending rhythms creating a
Cosmic beat within your heart
And mind.
Expanding creation,
Human metamorphosis.
Wake up.
You
Knocked the breath out of her.
Hands hit skin,
Words hit heart.
She was fearful
Of everyone.
Scared to speak.
Scared to move.
To say the wrong word,
To give the wrong look.
Her legs always shaking step by step.
Heaven forbid a tear should fall
(You damn crybaby)
Her voice so small
(Speak up! Speak up! But only when I tell you to!).
Eyes on the floor.
Walk so very softly.
(Become the wallpaper upon the wall
Your fingers never touch)
When She breathes, if she breathes,
Hold it, listen.
(What the hell are you wearing?)
Do not move another step
Until
Television volume up high
To mask the sound of her
Existence.
(They walk among us)
The controllers and abusers,
The controlled and abused.
And Momma always said
You never know what goes on behind
Closed doors.
These most intimate moments
Cannot be put into words.
They do not need to be shared
With others.
They remain here,
Weightless yet filling
The heart.
Chole Into Diamonds 