Dragging my feet as I leave the house this morning,
Feeling heavy and
Dreary.
My eyes met with a cotton candy sky,
Blue and pink and white delight before me.
Looking to the heavens and beyond,
Now,
Settling back into my skin a new day begins.
A new day begins.
Each morning awakening brings a bonus day.
I shift my body;
A moment to adjust myself, my mind, my heart.
I shall live in abundant love,
Grateful awareness.
Begin again from here.
I turn the page slowly,
My fingers lingering,
My thoughts turning.
Touching the faces of
Loves passed on now, closing my eyes as
My heart summons memories.
I realize I am holding my breath; silence.
Waiting
To hear them say my name just once more.
So much time held in one picture book,
So much love.
I try to keep my eyes open
For every time
I close them
That
Cellular level ache begins.
The longing.
I know you are near me.
And you are so distracting.
Pulling. Twirling my heart
In an endless dance;
A rhythm of breaths and dreams.
1,2,3 steady.
1,2,3,4 up I go and where I land, if ever,
Is unbeknownst in this plane.
A realm we agreed upon in time and space prior;
Between souls.
Destiny.
So many
Break their own heart, mind and
Bones to fit in a box
Just to feel loved,
While their soul
Is free
Coaxing and loving them still,
“Come with me come with me.”
I sit in the gardens,
The smell of soil
Filling my veins.
Distant sounds of traffic and
Humans
Disappear
As the hummingbird does his thing before Me,
Flitting
And flapping.
Cicadas and dragonflies.
This music cradles me as I sway to the rhythm;
Become the rhythm.
Vitality and rejuvenation joining
In my heart and mind.
I am so far away,
So very close.
Everywhere yet nowhere,
Dancing energy intertwining.
Merging and surging.
A decadent,
Ceaseless heartbeat melody
Of stillness abounds and sways.
Reborn.
She stood staring at the monument,
Her mind taken back
To then.
Was that the same wind blowing through her hair
That blew
On a day so very long ago?
Has it just been traveling the world;
Been out there somewhere waiting to hear her heart beat again?
Now she was
Afraid to turn around.
Not ready to leave,
Fearful the tears would fall
And a passerby would stare.
They would most likely
Assume she must be drunk or out of her mind.
No, she teetered on the edge and almost plunged
But
She was
Simply sad.
Just plain sad. People do not like to see that
Sadness.
Tears.
Somewhere
Before I remember,
When i began to walk
I think,
I started carrying your disappointment and Fear
On my back.
And when my staggering posture became noticeable
I
Carefully moved it
Behind my ribcage
Between my heart and my stomach,
Rearranging my insides for you.
It was almost impossible to breathe,
Impossible to eat.
Though I thought that is what good children do.
As I grew I realized
You did it for your mother and father too.
This was all you knew.
I am grateful we broke our hearts open.
Thus,
We broke the silence.
Momma would pick up the violin
When her heart was breaking.
And the strings she would play
Until her fingers,
They were aching.
And her tears
Made the melody
Flow from her soul.
Even though I was young,
I felt it in my blood.
The love and the hate.
The longing and yearning
As it echoed from impossible
Depths.
Each note
Bleeding
Out
From the
Fissures
Of her
Heart.
*choleintodiamonds*
* originally posted May 2014*
And there you are.
The star maps
I follow
Always lead me to your
Heart.
It can happen
By midday.
You forget you had beautiful dreams
And a fantastic morning.
You might not recall that you have a wonderful
Life for a moment too
When your heart
Hurts.
Chole Into Diamonds 