Tag Archives: fight

Mar4

Rules

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Different rules in every mind.

Each crossing different lines that they deem acceptable exceptions,

Then getting angry when others

Do their own thing.

Always someone going faster,

Always someone going slower.

So many minds with so many thoughts on how it should be,

Arguing over who is right and who is kinder.

(if we could only hear ourselves arguing over who is kinder )

If we could only see ourselves puffing out our chests believing we have won.

This is not a game,

(Sometimes it feels like it has turned into one big game).

Who is smarter, who has it harder.

Everyone telling,

Very few listening,

Truly listening.

Many clamoring knowing

A little piece about so much.

An

Unawareness spread out into little bits.

A couple thoughts on this and that

Knowing nothing about nothing.

Anger rising without sense.

Few just let it be and see.

Few

Are comfortable enough with this journey to

Observe and listen

And Be.

There is always more to learn,

In turn becoming quieter.

Listen.

Nov1

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I am running all over,

Falling apart.

People talk at me.

Their eyes darting

Anywhere else but mine

Looking for escape.

And I tell myself I am fine,

There is nothing wrong,

But every message I get from humans

All around

Is i am not.

And I choke back the tears sometimes

And I laugh out loud at myself

Sometimes.

And they walk on,

Walk on by

And I wish them love.

Nothing but love

Because I see their pain swirling around their hearts and minds.

And they still won’t look me in the eyes.

They turn away

And turn away again.

And I turn to the Angels

All around us

And thank them believing they see me.

I keep going and going

Knowing We are all here for a reason.

……

And

I need reminders

Today

Of

Hope

And strength.

My knees are weak

And

It feels as if a corset has been tightened

Around my ribs a

Cinch too tight.

Inhaling little bits;

Shallow and dizzy.

I am on a slippery slope.

Can’t seem to get a grip.

And what if one day

I just don’t have

Enough

Of me

To

Keep a hold of,

If i am not strong enough to fight myself?

Embrace.

Oct17

Would Never Guess

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for most of her life

(more than less)

she was in a state of heightened

fight or flight

her head dizzy

her breathing uncontrolled

her senses and mind wired as tight as a cat ready to run

watching body language

reading expressions and eyes

listening to tone

holding her breath waiting to bolt or duck at any given moment

her whole body racing while standing still

as soon as someone spoke to her, her mind flooded with confusion.

why me? can’t you see i am the ugliest, stupidest most disgusting person here. i am slow

of thought and of no interest.

you must be mistaken.

I am no one.

But you would never guess. Or you might consider then brush it off. she smiles and nods her

head.

Have a nice day, she might say.

by the way she quickly moves away

 you would never guess the weight she carries is so very heavy.