Always a work of becoming.
Opening.
Awakening.
Unfolding.
Releasing that which I have held on to
In desperation, fear
And unworthiness.
Welcoming magic.
Nov6
Tag Archives: fear
Aug7
Go On
And just like that
Out of sight
Out of mind
And the
Everyday goings on
Go
On
The cogs and gears of the world keep
Turning whether
One is ready or not
And there is
A click click clicking
And a tick tick ticking at every turn
And
A knocking at every door
Where to go
What to do
Cease the madness.
Stop fearing and be.
Dec15
Defy
Defy your fears.
Take courage of heart
And
Rise.
Lift yourself up and out,
Into the sunlight.
Rest there as long as you need
Feeling heat upon skin;
Breathing air into the neglected depths
Of your lungs.
Here you will feel once more
The blood beating through your veins.
Remember yourself.
Listen. There is your heart song.
Allow yourself to weep,
Allow yourself to sing.
One, two , three inhale and roar.
One, two, three take a chance and soar.
Oct25
Abused. Ill-treated.
Born into barbed wire boundaries.
Reiterate,
Reiterated
Over and over
How incapable one is
To even make a simple decision.
(Wrong. Wrong again)
To celebrate joyfully,
To make a sound could set fire to surroundings.
Destruction.
Loose track of truth as lies are the padding between
Being reprimanded physically
Or
Verbally.
Blurred lines
And confusion.
(Mock and shame)
How to interact;
Manipulation
False praises and head games.
How to explain
Voice crushed,
Airway blocked.
To whisper brought trembling
To body
And tears to brim
To which people yelled
“Speak up!
What is your problem?”
Jul28
Tears
She stood staring at the monument,
Her mind taken back
To then.
Was that the same wind blowing through her hair
That blew
On a day so very long ago?
Has it just been traveling the world;
Been out there somewhere waiting to hear her heart beat again?
Now she was
Afraid to turn around.
Not ready to leave,
Fearful the tears would fall
And a passerby would stare.
They would most likely
Assume she must be drunk or out of her mind.
No, she teetered on the edge and almost plunged
But
She was
Simply sad.
Just plain sad. People do not like to see that
Sadness.
Tears.
Jun19
Broke
Somewhere
Before I remember,
When i began to walk
I think,
I started carrying your disappointment and Fear
On my back.
And when my staggering posture became noticeable
I
Carefully moved it
Behind my ribcage
Between my heart and my stomach,
Rearranging my insides for you.
It was almost impossible to breathe,
Impossible to eat.
Though I thought that is what good children do.
As I grew I realized
You did it for your mother and father too.
This was all you knew.
I am grateful we broke our hearts open.
Thus,
We broke the silence.
Jun16
Brave
The bravest thing i ever did
Was to
Return home and
Confront
My fear and pain.
Oh the nightmares. The anxiety and dizziness
From holding my breath all this time.
I believed I had left it there in darkened places
(That fear)
But truly
I had been carrying it;
Wearing it.
I placed forgiveness
There;
Home.
And in return
Was immersed in love.
And I felt lighter and I flew higher than ever before.
On to living a fuller life.
On to letting go of more of this and that I have picked up along the way.
The power was mine all along.
The power is mine.
Nov28
Hit
You
Knocked the breath out of her.
Hands hit skin,
Words hit heart.
She was fearful
Of everyone.
Scared to speak.
Scared to move.
To say the wrong word,
To give the wrong look.
Her legs always shaking step by step.
Heaven forbid a tear should fall
(You damn crybaby)
Her voice so small
(Speak up! Speak up! But only when I tell you to!).
Eyes on the floor.
Walk so very softly.
(Become the wallpaper upon the wall
Your fingers never touch)
When She breathes, if she breathes,
Hold it, listen.
(What the hell are you wearing?)
Do not move another step
Until
Television volume up high
To mask the sound of her
Existence.
(They walk among us)
The controllers and abusers,
The controlled and abused.
And Momma always said
You never know what goes on behind
Closed doors.
Apr20
Sister
I dreamt I was a
Little girl again,
Wearing a white prairie dress.
I came upon a lone house in the countryside
Surrounded by beautiful trees,
But the sky was dark and i was alone.
I entered the house,
Something told me it was home.
It was dingy and empty and falling apart,
Fear began to grip my heart.
I started calling my sisters name only to hear my footsteps in return.
I thought maybe to lay upon the floor and look no more
When down the stairs she
Came dressed just like me,
(The only exception being her hair of red and my hair
Of black.)
She took me by the hand and led me to
The door.
We went outside to sit and play in the dirt,
The sky now a dusty brown.
I was fearful but felt comfort in her presence.
She stopped playing suddenly and looked me in the eye to whisper
“My mommy does not like me.”
To which I replied,
“Neither does mine.”
Oh sister
My sister,
My sister how I love thee.
Feb19
Create
We do not
Create love
By inciting
Fear.
Chole Into Diamonds 