I go to the other room
And in the quiet corner I
Check to make sure my heart is
Still beating.
I get dizzy when I am overwhelmed and begin to think I might be dreaming or not real any more.
A heartbeat means I am real right?
Or maybe someone else needs to check it and tell me I am real because i could be tricking myself.
I am running all over,
Falling apart.
People talk at me.
Their eyes darting
Anywhere else but mine
Looking for escape.
And I tell myself I am fine,
There is nothing wrong,
But every message I get from humans
All around
Is i am not.
And I choke back the tears sometimes
And I laugh out loud at myself
Sometimes.
And they walk on,
Walk on by
And I wish them love.
Nothing but love
Because I see their pain swirling around their hearts and minds.
And they still won’t look me in the eyes.
They turn away
And turn away again.
And I turn to the Angels
All around us
And thank them believing they see me.
I keep going and going
Knowing We are all here for a reason.
……
And
I need reminders
Today
Of
Hope
And strength.
My knees are weak
And
It feels as if a corset has been tightened
Around my ribs a
Cinch too tight.
Inhaling little bits;
Shallow and dizzy.
I am on a slippery slope.
Can’t seem to get a grip.
And what if one day
I just don’t have
Enough
Of me
To
Keep a hold of,
If i am not strong enough to fight myself?
Embrace.
I climb
And breathe deep.
The smell of lilacs strong;
The
Hint of
Rain to come
Bathes me.
Morning splendor.
I close my eyes
And accept
Healing.
I got colored by the sun and the earth today.
I lost my breath
As I rose to the summit.
I got high on the
Altitude.
Dizzy in my head,
I let gratitude overflow my heart
And I accepted
The healing.
I got dusty and dirty.
I danced with myself
Untamed.
The view from the summit is always worth
It.
I accept the healing.
Chole Into Diamonds 