And I never want to

Hurt like that again

So

I have been fearful,

So very afraid.

One step

And I hesitate, my feet placed lightly

As I hold my breath before

Pressing forward completely;

And wait.

Eyes wide open,

Telling my tears to stay tucked away,

To wait.

Wait a little longer.

It is not in my head nor irrational

For those things did happen leaving bruises on heart on skin,

Not happening merely once or twice.

Over and over.

In psyche I go deep.

Begin once again.

One step forward and breath.

Wait and observe, Listen and feel.

Muscles coiled around heart ready to retreat.

Consciously release tension;

Release grip on self.

Exhaustion sets in every muscle.

Stopping. Resting.

Replenish heart and mind

And begin again

With tomorrow’s sunrise.

Beauty and joy seep into depths slowly and lovingly

Replacing anxiety.

Sweet dreams start to outnumber nightmares.

Ever so tenderly reanimating hope.

Revive.