I was afraid to take my eyes away
For I might miss
The signs of your heart still beating.
Holding my breath;
To stay unmoving completely,
Listening so intently to you breathe.
Hanging on. Hanging on.
I blinked and you
Were gone.
Nov25
Tag Archives: breath
Nov13
Home
My home stars keep calling my name.
Traveling the speed of light through cosmic storms
I visit them in my dreams.
I am merely a newborn awakening to wonders and strife. How cold the air on my skin, how the sun stings my eyes.
My mind gets earth drenched; fatigued translating language from there to here.
Most often I do not make sense when I speak though it sounds right in my head.
So much gets lost between soul and mind
As I try to enunciate and pronounce this love of all.
My heart beat fills my veins with a stirring and my lungs breathe an endless breath.
I watch and I smile feeling love flow through me; i am and never was empty for this
Is infinite and continuous.
Few see that all is translated in the stillness, that it Is always love, as we call it.
For it truly is more than love and that is why so many continue to try and define it.
It is more than a flat word or a mere voice and that is why we struggle so; to capture and constrain this cannot be done. It will not fit in a container.
There is no human word to encompass love.
And so the writers write and the singers sing.
The dancers dance and the dreamers dream.
Every one of us ponder
On and on and on
Of love.
Nov1
I am running all over,
Falling apart.
People talk at me.
Their eyes darting
Anywhere else but mine
Looking for escape.
And I tell myself I am fine,
There is nothing wrong,
But every message I get from humans
All around
Is i am not.
And I choke back the tears sometimes
And I laugh out loud at myself
Sometimes.
And they walk on,
Walk on by
And I wish them love.
Nothing but love
Because I see their pain swirling around their hearts and minds.
And they still won’t look me in the eyes.
They turn away
And turn away again.
And I turn to the Angels
All around us
And thank them believing they see me.
I keep going and going
Knowing We are all here for a reason.
……
And
I need reminders
Today
Of
Hope
And strength.
My knees are weak
And
It feels as if a corset has been tightened
Around my ribs a
Cinch too tight.
Inhaling little bits;
Shallow and dizzy.
I am on a slippery slope.
Can’t seem to get a grip.
And what if one day
I just don’t have
Enough
Of me
To
Keep a hold of,
If i am not strong enough to fight myself?
Embrace.
Sep15
Pictures
I turn the page slowly,
My fingers lingering,
My thoughts turning.
Touching the faces of
Loves passed on now, closing my eyes as
My heart summons memories.
I realize I am holding my breath; silence.
Waiting
To hear them say my name just once more.
So much time held in one picture book,
So much love.
Sep7
Open
I try to keep my eyes open
For every time
I close them
That
Cellular level ache begins.
The longing.
I know you are near me.
And you are so distracting.
Pulling. Twirling my heart
In an endless dance;
A rhythm of breaths and dreams.
1,2,3 steady.
1,2,3,4 up I go and where I land, if ever,
Is unbeknownst in this plane.
A realm we agreed upon in time and space prior;
Between souls.
Destiny.
Jun16
Brave
The bravest thing i ever did
Was to
Return home and
Confront
My fear and pain.
Oh the nightmares. The anxiety and dizziness
From holding my breath all this time.
I believed I had left it there in darkened places
(That fear)
But truly
I had been carrying it;
Wearing it.
I placed forgiveness
There;
Home.
And in return
Was immersed in love.
And I felt lighter and I flew higher than ever before.
On to living a fuller life.
On to letting go of more of this and that I have picked up along the way.
The power was mine all along.
The power is mine.
May8
Doubt
A slip here.
A falter there.
My wounds reopening.
I will not
Relinquish
My hope
To you;
Doubt.
Breath stealer.
Dream taker.
Saboteur.
You will not prevail.
Nov28
Hit
You
Knocked the breath out of her.
Hands hit skin,
Words hit heart.
She was fearful
Of everyone.
Scared to speak.
Scared to move.
To say the wrong word,
To give the wrong look.
Her legs always shaking step by step.
Heaven forbid a tear should fall
(You damn crybaby)
Her voice so small
(Speak up! Speak up! But only when I tell you to!).
Eyes on the floor.
Walk so very softly.
(Become the wallpaper upon the wall
Your fingers never touch)
When She breathes, if she breathes,
Hold it, listen.
(What the hell are you wearing?)
Do not move another step
Until
Television volume up high
To mask the sound of her
Existence.
(They walk among us)
The controllers and abusers,
The controlled and abused.
And Momma always said
You never know what goes on behind
Closed doors.
Sep27
Immersed
She was born in the wild,
Immersed in nature from first breath.
Barefoot.
No mirrors
Just freedom.
True.
You see,
She was the wild.
People tried to change her.
They tried to shorten her breaths,
Her wonder.
She bounded too high
Her steps held no path in mind.
Over downed trees she would leap without a
Second thought.
Scratches from sticker bush and branches
Made her laugh.
Brambles in her hair.
And her heart raced at the sight of the bear
And the squirrel;
All the same in the wild.
All one living and breathing being,
Alive,
For together they felt the dirt
On their bare skin. Raw.
The berries and the fiddle fern
Filled her appetite.
Cold mountain waters quenched her thirst.
The wild was her foundation, her breath,
Her heart, her skin.
Her stillness.
She is the wild.
Aug22
And So
I often think i am done
Whether sun
Or shadow fall on my face.
Even when a smile curves my lips
A battle may rage
Within;
This at any time.
I walk upon stone,
I walk upon dirt
Both hurt
When the weight is heavy.
Though i stand tall,
A smile curves my lips.
Each breath a blessing
As i fill my lungs with air,
As I stretch up to the sky with all my might
The weight gets lighter,
My feet less tender.
I look at my heart.
It has no boundaries
Nor my mind in fact.
Every cell,
Every atom
At peace if I allow it to be.
And so it flows through me,
And so I am.
Chole Into Diamonds 