It has been painful to dig out
All
The veins of the abuse
In her body,
Mind and heart
For it is in her skin,
Her bones and breath;
The self loathing and unworthiness.
But
The cracks,
The light is getting out now
Slowly but surely
And
Bit by bit
She is allowing love return
In once more.
Illumination.
I struggle to steady my mind
And I cannot find the breath to
Say i am tired,
And I cannot find the strength to
Reach for you.
My walls so high and mighty.
My fear steals my bones.
I’ve heard them whisper about me
Then turn and
Smile at me in the reflection in the mirror.
I’ve seen them steal away and swallow
Anything they can put their fingers on.
Eat. Sleep.
Dream.
And this unwavering yearning for you
Resonates in my blood and my bones
As i wander;
You are here
In the air
And i breathe.
We lie
Entangled
Still as trees
Warmth between us tended and
Flowing
Naturally,
Soothing these aches and the pains of the heart and mind in this dimension.
Scars forgotten as hope permeates within and
Without.
A surge of all that was purged as a new dawn begins.
Serenity.
Up on tippy toes I try to peek
Over hills and mountains high.
Try as I might I cannot see the other side.
I have to climb myself
One step at a time
And understand
This journey is mine;
Created with all of us in mind
To intertwine with those chosen
In this
Grand design.
To uplift and add endless love
As best We can.
I climb and rest,
Climb and rest knowing I am doing my best
With every breath.
And I never want to
Hurt like that again
So
I have been fearful,
So very afraid.
One step
And I hesitate, my feet placed lightly
As I hold my breath before
Pressing forward completely;
And wait.
Eyes wide open,
Telling my tears to stay tucked away,
To wait.
Wait a little longer.
It is not in my head nor irrational
For those things did happen leaving bruises on heart on skin,
Not happening merely once or twice.
Over and over.
In psyche I go deep.
Begin once again.
One step forward and breath.
Wait and observe, Listen and feel.
Muscles coiled around heart ready to retreat.
Consciously release tension;
Release grip on self.
Exhaustion sets in every muscle.
Stopping. Resting.
Replenish heart and mind
And begin again
With tomorrow’s sunrise.
Beauty and joy seep into depths slowly and lovingly
Replacing anxiety.
Sweet dreams start to outnumber nightmares.
Ever so tenderly reanimating hope.
Revive.
This is a one way ticket.
I am going to explore
Everything I can,
Everywhere I can
And look at life
At every angle.
Cutting ties as I set myself free
And up i go
As high as I can fly.
A
360 degree view
As all my senses open to receive energy.
Upside down and all
Around
I see.
I feel.
I breath.
I smile.
I have such a story to share,
So many stories within
The story.
Where do I start?
Her heart softly replied,
“Just like you breathe one breath at a time,
As you step one foot in front of the other.
In every moment you pause.
One memory,
One word;
One word at a time.”
And here it is
Right before you,
Beside you,
Inside you.
This greatness everyone speaks of
And searches for.
This joy and fulfillment.
Search no more.
Here it is.
It is you. All that you are.
All that you see and feel.
Every movement, thought and breath.
Illustriousness;
You are.
Here,
Now,
Before and Always.
The sun rose gently today,
I am thankful for that.
Giving my eyes time to adjust;
Delicate light
Touches stone
And cactus.
Life around me
Stretches and yawns at once.
The birds join in
As they announce the arrival of day once again,
Happily
In synch with the natural rhythms of life.
The sun has peaked the horizon
And now burns my eyes.
For this I am grateful as well,
To set myself free of yesterdays burdens
And confusion
With breath and light,
For this is the world
Right in front of me.
Yesterday.
What’s done is done.
This moment,
What is yet to come.
My mind keeps
Digging,
Burying
And wondering.
Remembering,
Creating
And forgetting.
Let sleep come none to soon
And carry me to dreamland
Where no one
Restrains these
Thoughts.
These imaginings and reminiscings in
Sweet, vivid colors
As I dance through fallen
And falling leaves in the deep
Magical forest.
Snowflake flurries.
My amusement and joy magnified
In kaleidoscopic colors and melodies.
Peaceful
Joy.
Peaceful breaths.
Chole Into Diamonds 