Tag Archives: animals

Jan27

Blind Sided

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For weeks on end I feel like a storm.

I want to laugh

But i want to cry.

I want to scream but i do not

Wish to be heard.

And my head hurts.

It won’t stop talking to me,

Correcting me.

I get side swiped.

Knocked over.

Blind sided.

Sucked into the old patterns in my brain,

(You are Not good enough)

I try to catch the thoughts before they get organized enough to seize it all.

I cannot speak.

Noises explode in my brain.

Over stimulated and agitated.

Even my beloved music is turned off for the day.

The animals pile on me.

They know i need a different kind of warmth,

One the sun cannot provide.

I am in need of a different kind of symphony

To soothe my heart and head,

My breath, my senses;

My laughter.

A coo of insanity.

And my gut gets knotted

And the tears try to break free

(How stupid you must be)

I have to find me.

Dec28

Anything

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Wild and free can be anything.

To me it is wandering in the woods off trail.

Eating fresh raspberries and blueberries

While listening for wild animals that may come.

As a young girl,

Taking off alone to

Ride that beautiful white mare

Bareback up mountainsides so steep

And through Forests so deep.

Her mane in my bare hands and my legs holding tight with every change in direction

And lunge.

Giggling when I turned corners and almost falling off

When she reared.

Finding bear tracks in mine upon returning back to where I

Started.

Catching the curious eyes of a lynx

And hearing the thump of a beaver tail,

The squeak of a porcupine in a tree.

The sweet smell of dirt and rain

And the silence of heaven in the wind singing in my ears.

Trusting myself and the earth.

In those wild and free moments

I died and was reborn again and again.

They saved me from death.

I understand now.