The First Time I Almost Drowned

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I was 5 years old the first time I almost drowned.

My mother, younger siblings and I were staying in a hotel in Palm Springs.

It was the one and only time I met my Grandpa before he died of a heart attack.  I only saw my Grandma one more time after this visit.

A little boy I met at the hotel and I were playing hide and seek out by the pool. I do not recall where my Grandpa was and my mom was in the hotel room with my brother and sister.

It was my turn to seek and I found the boy hiding behind one of the vending machines .We were laughing as we were walking to the other side of the pool;

Without any warning he shoved me into the deep end of the pool and ran away.

I did not know how to swim and of course panicked, thrashing and kicking , trying to get my head above water to know avail.

I could see the blue sky and sun above me but no matter how hard I tried, I could not break the surface even with my little hands.

I saw the silver hand rail and side steps to climb out and came so very close to grasping the rail, only to find my fingers not quite able to grip it and I would float farther away.

Finally no longer able to hold my breath,

I took a big gulp of water in and at that very moment was pulled up out of the water and into the air.

 

Crying, choking and gasping I instantly threw up. My nose and throat hurt terribly. Eventually I was wrapped in a towel and carried by my Grandpa to the hotel room where i was reunited with my momma.

I never saw the little boy again.

 

Time turns slowly when you believe you are drowning.

Still I returned to the water.

 

Longest Ache

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The longest ache.

Tears form in the corner of my eyes when

I remember the magic i felt,

The beauty I witnessed.

And I remember wiping

The red dust from my cheeks

So long ago.

The joy and the wonder a new sight can

bring,

The souls one meets that love a song.

To think

Once

I did not believe.

It was another life now

And then another

And here I am still in wonder.

The longest ache sears through my veins.

The yearning remains.

The ancient beats within my heart reverberate

Through time unseen in synchronization with those who came before

And those yet to come.

Check

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I go to the other room

And in the quiet corner I

Check to make sure my heart is

Still beating.

I get dizzy when I am overwhelmed and begin to think I might be dreaming or not real any more.

A heartbeat means I am real right?

Or maybe someone else needs to check it and tell me I am real because i could be tricking myself.

Smoke

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Be wary the mouths who claim they can

Save the world;

Self proclaimed heroes with

The smell of lies and smoke still on their breath.

Look behind them;

Left there in their wake

Lie

Fires and destruction

Started in self righteousness.

Here,

They now present themselves

Remorseless.

Placed before you

Master tricksters,

Half truths and slight of mind.