Those hugs.
Those last hugs.
And that last glance.
You looked over your shoulder
One final time
As you stepped inside.
As you waved goodbye.
The last time I saw you,
You did not stand on the sidewalk as
Usual
And wave.
You did not stay and watch me drive
Away
Around the corner
Until I was completely out of sight.
No.
Those last hugs.
That last glance.
Little did we know
Those would be the
Last
Ones given.
For the first time
Ever,
The tears ran evenly down
Her cheeks.
Seems one side had always
Been
Holding back.
Afraid to be seen.
Beautiful one.
So in love with the way the sunlight
Falls
From
Such a distance
To give of itself.
Gracefully
Placing what life it has left
Upon the petals
Of the blooming flower.
That is where you will find her,
Amongst the flowers.
If you come sit with her a while
You will fall in
Love
Too.
The birds are singing in the spring sun
Unaware of what is coming
Undone
Around them.
In the dwelling by the tree
They sing with delight
Their songs of
Love,
Their songs of
Life.
She will try not to run.
She will try not to hide.
She will try not to turn away.
She will look you in the eye.
She will listen to you speak
Of her as if she is pretty
While voices scream otherwise in her head.
She will stay when you smile at her tenderly,
Every cell in her body desiring nothing more
Than to vanish.
Her heartbeat has been rendered immobile.
Artifacts from days gone by holding every
Ventricle hostage.
She is trying to be brave.
If you knew
How the earth shook beneath her feet
When she moved,
How the thunder echoed in her ears
When she tried to speak
You would
Realize just how courageous
She is.
You
Standing there so full of words.
Me
Standing here so
Empty.
“I’m tired of rough.
I’m tired of tough,”
She whispered.
“I want to sink into your skin.
To forget where I begin.
I just want to feel
Beautiful.”
She had never felt a
Tender hand upon her cheek.
All these years so
Hesitant
To soften into a touch.
And so he danced lightly.
And so she wept.
I awoke with a loneliness in my gut.
My face
Damp with tears I must have cried
In a nightmare.
I turned to my side
And
Set my sight
On the light
Fighting to filter through those
Dusty,
Lifeless
Curtains covering my window.
And I knew
Come what may,
The only way
That soul healing light was ever going
To shine on me
Was if I got up and opened those
Curtains
Myself.
I hope wherever you are,
You are
Free
Now.
Free to be your beautiful self.
And when anyone tries to stifle you,
You don’t ever hold back.
I hope you see through them
And know now it’s not about you,
Their fear.
It never was.
You,
So beautiful.
Too free for some people to handle,
And too much yourself
That it terrified them to see how much they
Themselves
Hold back.
How they keep themselves in chains.
I imagine you dancing and singing at the top of your lungs
While the leaves fall at your feet,
Some wild autumn wind playing in your hair.
And I know
You
Are
Free.
Chole Into Diamonds 