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Would Never Guess

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for most of her life

(more than less)

she was in a state of heightened

fight or flight

her head dizzy

her breathing uncontrolled

her senses and mind wired as tight as a cat ready to run

watching body language

reading expressions and eyes

listening to tone

holding her breath waiting to bolt or duck at any given moment

her whole body racing while standing still

as soon as someone spoke to her, her mind flooded with confusion.

why me? can’t you see i am the ugliest, stupidest most disgusting person here. i am slow

of thought and of no interest.

you must be mistaken.

I am no one.

But you would never guess. Or you might consider then brush it off. she smiles and nods her

head.

Have a nice day, she might say.

by the way she quickly moves away

 you would never guess the weight she carries is so very heavy.

READY

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I took a moment
To swim
To the shore
Of the ocean,
This my life.
And i stood  and pondered once again.
My bare feet in the warmth of the sand.

My breath taken away by the wind.
This beautiful ocean

blue, green and gray
Is me.
It Is deep and endless.
The reflection
Stuns me as the sun rises,
As does everything in between.
That which begs still to be explored.
I am ready
Come what may
To dive back in.

What unknown part of me shall i delve into Next?

Agony

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Terrified to be overwhelmed

Some days there is nothing left
The fight of the agony
Has left me
Exhausted
Again i float
As numbness claims
Me
Extremities lifeless
To separate
Feelings
From matter
My mind shouts
Get up
Get up
You are alive and well
My mind shouts
You are nothing
You are no one
You are a minute speck
Heart-
Heavy and heated as if standing on the sun
The brightness blinding me to life
Eventually i embrace it and love i become
I always come through
I always come through