And he is doing it again,
Recreating
This enlivening within me.
Dissolving.
Peeling petals back one by one.
I try to hold it down,
Keep suppressing
The fluttering inside.
I close my eyes;
I sense
Him checking my pulse;
His fingers upon my
Wrist;
His
Ear upon my chest.
Feeling,
Listening
To see if i am still here
And i am grateful.
Stopping, standing still to
Breathe.
Celebrating endings and beginnings
In the same moment.
Awash with emotion.
Holding myself steady,
Do not know if i am ready
But
It is now
Or never.
Onward I go.
One, two,
I am going to move today.
3, 4,
Maybe if I just roll over.
Watching my arm dangle
Off the edge of the bed,
Thinking of letting myself fall.
I wish Narnia
Was in my wardrobe.
I used to hide in the closet when I was little.
I felt safe in the dark hidden behind
The garments.
(If I was out of sight I could be forgotten)
Then,
At night I would get comfy in my blankets and plan my
Dreams before I closed my eyes.
I planned every detail;
which characters would join me, where we would go,
Who would be friend or foe.
It was fantastical.
I was usually a character in a book I read
And
I always created amazing adventures.
Comforting fantasies of exploring, friendship and love.
I hated waking up.
Be bold.
Look into your own
Brilliance.
For you will go blind,
But for the first time
You will see.
Pine needles
Falling to the floor.
The tree quit taking water,
No longer thirsty.
The New Year is calling;
The clock strikes 12.
Auld Lange Syne
As I wipe tears from my
Eyes
For the loves lost.
(Thump goes my heart)
Grateful for every breath.
This year went by
Like all those past
And the quicker they go
The older I get.
Not one to make
New Year’s Resolutions
She has always had
The resolve to
Let go of objects and people
Or
Start
Something new
On any given
Monday
The year throughout.
…
Originally shared on 12/2015
We all know times flows and it
Goes
Fast when we want it slow,
And slow when we want it to move fast.
But it is true
Things will happen when they happen
And we will get there when we get there.
Without a clock time
Still somehow moves,
So do our hearts
And our very cells.
So just be grateful and stop your fretting
Because letting go of all that worry,
That Tick Tock hurry,
Will set you free.
I used to run and hide when people hurt me.
I gave away my power without a second thought.
I used to give them my tears and time.
I am learning to turn around
Gently.
To forgive and honor the soul of each heart and mind.
To give more tears and time
To joy.
To see beauty in both dreams and reality.
I am learning they too are afraid,
They just show it in a different way.
Do not let anyone fool you.
We are all fumbling,
Learning as we go
Moment by moment.
For not one of us have
Lived these days before.
Chole Into Diamonds 