I was taught to

Swallow my tears.

Keep them within,

Becoming bloated with grief.

My blood saturated with salt

Until

Solidified

Heart so heavy

And lungs drowned with self inflicted water,

I could no longer stand.

I could not absorb oxygen needed to keep warm nor fully breathe,

Could not pump blood through my own veins to live.

Not knowing that to cry was such strength

For those surrounding me

Saw it,

Claimed it as

Victory;

A winning of some kind to break another more than yourself.

I still cry in the dark.

I never said I was perfect.