For weeks on end I feel like a storm.

I want to laugh

But i want to cry.

I want to scream but i do not

Wish to be heard.

And my head hurts.

It won’t stop talking to me,

Correcting me.

I get side swiped.

Knocked over.

Blind sided.

Sucked into the old patterns in my brain,

(You are Not good enough)

I try to catch the thoughts before they get organized enough to seize it all.

I cannot speak.

Noises explode in my brain.

Over stimulated and agitated.

Even my beloved music is turned off for the day.

The animals pile on me.

They know i need a different kind of warmth,

One the sun cannot provide.

I am in need of a different kind of symphony

To soothe my heart and head,

My breath, my senses;

My laughter.

A coo of insanity.

And my gut gets knotted

And the tears try to break free

(How stupid you must be)

I have to find me.